Is a girl’s virginity a sure sign of marital happiness?

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From long back, a woman’s virginity is considered to be her owner and prized possession. Even today in the Indian society, virginity for girls is considered a big hype. But with the changing time and for a large number of young men and women, sex is not a taboo anymore. And for our generation, pre-marital sex is not a problem. Nowadays, couples who are in a relationship do not hesitate about getting sexually intimate with each other even after knowing that the relationship might not result in a marriage. However, when the question of marriage arises (more in the case of arrange marriages), a woman with a sexually active history is always questioned. How come virginity is a big deal then?

Being a virgin in the 21^st century

In today’s time being a virgin is like being a unicorn. With the recent time, India has gone through a dramatic change that has made people quite open-minded when it comes to sensitive topics like sex and virginity.

Whether you are married or not, to be sexually intimate with somebody you need to be comfortable with the person and on your own. But somewhere we all are afraid of being judged. Can’t help it, we Indians are judgemental. 

Being a virgin depends on your choice. Yes, it’s your decision. No matter how people take it, but for people who are in love, it’s the first time you give your body to someone. In the purest of intentions, it is the most you can give to someone you love the most.

Is virginity a must for a happy married life?

Virginity of a girl has always been synonymous with her character. On the other hand, this is not the case for men, to judge whether he is virgin or not. Since old times, men are told to marry a virgin bride. This kind of mentality is prevalent because of the traditional values that are embedded in Indians. Most men ask how can know whether their girlfriend of a wife is a virgin or not? If people are not okay with accepting the fact the girl is not a virgin, and then they should not accept or indulge in the trend of pre-marital sex as well (makes sense).

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Moreover, in a relationship, it is very important for a couple to give priority to things like honesty and trust. If a woman admits to her being sexually active in the past, then it should not be held against her. Instead, she could have hidden it; it clearly means that she is being honest.

Always remember that virginity is not the measure to base a happy marriage.

Everybody have their first time

You get only one first time. You should always wait for your first time with the perfect person and in the perfect moment (the intention here is good). Young women should be persuaded to not have sex with men who do not value them. Or even if a woman decides to stay a virgin until her marriage, her decision is entirely based on her faith and personal experiences. It is not a big deal to be a virgin until your marriage. Remember, your identity does not lie in being a ‘virgin’, ‘single’ or ‘married’, but as a human.

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Closing thoughts

Virginity is not something you brag about nor should you be ashamed of your own choice. There should be no guilt associated when it is about a female’s sexual desire. So with virginity, just like everything else, nobody else is going to decide for you. Above all, your body is all yours.

Men and women both want love, intimacy and commitment based on respect. Always look for something meaningful in your relationship and life choices.

How the Idea of Love has Changed With Time?

What is love? Just like we see in movies a boy meets a girl, eventually, they end up falling in love, walking down the aisle and living happily ever after. But this is not the same anymore. With fast paced lives, working to live up our dreams and aiming for the best – we seem to have forgotten to do this one thing that is as special as life, ‘love’. To be honest, love is not so easy; it needs a lot and lot of work. But our generation has left behind the concept of love. We definitely can have a long lasting relationship, but the reality is that we often give up before standing in the test of times.  Our generation, though slowly, is losing faith in love.

Where has all the love gone?

What is the idea of love? Two people come close to each other realising that everything around them is just so beautiful. Indulging in long chats and the phase of discovering each other seems to be just perfect. If everything goes well, you gradually become a couple. But now, things are different. You meet someone, exchange numbers, go for a date, make out, have sex and then lose interest. Everything then ends.

The reality is that in today’s time the idea of love is totally screwed up. Most of us are in love and still fail to understand its meaning.

Our generation is so obsessed with materialistic things, today we would rather want to have an iPhone than a partner. Secondly, we are afraid to get into a commitment, afraid to move out of it (if a relationship doesn’t work for a couple) and even afraid to be dumped. Earlier we used to crave for a relationship but now we do not want to get into a trouble of labelling relationships.

Dating apps like Tinder, TrulyMadly and OKCupid have made all of us available for parties, late-night conversations and casual hook-ups. But hey, what next?

The idea of love is not that complicated. If you decide to put equal efforts in a relationship, then things would definitely get into something more meaningful. Try to overcome differences and work together to find the lasting love in your relationship.

Are Bollywood movies fair in portraying love?

It’s true that Bollywood films have romanticised love stories to such an extent that they can become love goals for all of us. Movies like ‘Hum Aapke Hain Kaun’, ‘Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge’ had some of the beautiful love stories that teach us a lot about love and romance. But now, as a 25-year-old matured person, after watching films like Love Aaj Kal, Shuddh Desi Romance and Befikre, I am perplexed, what is the definition of love in today’s time?

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Bollywood has come a long way in showcasing love stories in today’s time when there is no such thing called love. Considering these two films, DDLJ and Befikre, both are way too different from each other in terms of characters, storyline and most importantly, the ‘love’ element. DDLJ’s Simran and Befikre’s Shyra are poles apart from each other. From 1995 to 2016, this change in the attitude is a reflection of not just Bollywood but also a change in generations.

Closing thoughts

Just like these movies, people today are living their lives in the same manner. They crave for love but run from commitment. Agree to it, love in real life is as pious as described in books. Don’t expect love to be perfect, it makes you laugh and makes you cry as well because love is crazy, with no conditions and expectations.

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I would say, delete Tinder, go out and meet people (instead of those you met on social media), indulge in conversations and give a chance to love! Love will surely find its way.